chapter 4 - when i'm trying to grow up

after 1 month:
feels like a bit mature since i got back from uk (or maybe perasan diri dah mature)..but uk really taught me a lot..jiwa kacau? no more...in total control now..i've got my groove back...ingat balik dah function gredi..hehehe...eventho, every weekend pn stadi balik diagnostic...series lupa...not lemau anymore. perhaps a bit lemau but not totally...

cinta dalam hati:
(^_^) i think its obvious...perhaps not too obvious. blame it on EOBD diagnostic and...myself. i really have this "muka berkaliber dan mari kita sorokkan apa yg kita rasa" face..yeah..eli perasan lagi.cinta dalam hati?? my advice? lets be nice to everybody...

things that i miss about norwich:
satu je. kelancaran lalulintas a.k.a no traffic jam..i missed that a lot....n not to forget...malam yang panjang..a total bonus for me and my passion for sleeping..
telepas nk tgk itik kena langgar dgn keta lotus kat test track :(
what a waste....

me tonite:
i'm blessed..to have someone that loves me a lot after all these years, my "not in mood" for everything, my era of "do not disturb", the hiding and lost..
tata my comfort zone...i guessed i'm ready for something new (see...mature dah budak nih)
finally...i smiles again. what goes around really comes around..

so again..my advice people, eventho we dont know what's the best for us, be nice to everyone...and believe, that 1 day..everyone will do the same...

my advice for myself:
kalo pas ni rasa empty or sedih lagik or miserable or dlm era kegelapan or jiwa kacau or pape la...p merayu kat bos2 suh anta jauh2 n lama2 so that boleh muhasabah diri n jadi mature...
there's no such thing as xde perasaan...its just a matter of time, berani or takut, ready or tak n...ngade2 xnak hati rasa sedih..so, block sume benda..
not good....
reminder: experience is the best teacher ever...

~eli mmg dah mature...i'm so proud~

chapter 3 - i'm in peace...

at last...in peace..i lost it once but now, i found it again..in the same form but different way..my heart is smiling...

hujan lebat betul ni..hmmm...totally in peace..until.......
EOBD IAFM, BLM market, etc.... nyebok betul benda2 nih..~sigh~

~for the love of hari lepas hujan~
~remembering; i was 5, gazing at rainbow while eating rainbow ice-cream (walls)~
~imagining; another ice-cream~
~imagining....nothing...~
~in total peace~

chapter 2 - "dingdong"ing

jiwa kacau - muka stress - dingdongdingdong....

take life easily but too easily. what happened lately?
i have approximately around 1 year left to "dingdong"ing before time's out.

shoot...no idea what to write lah..

~bunyi cengkerik~
~sampai esok pagi~
~for the love of food and sleep~
~damn...mcm dah gemuk~

chapter 1 - feel

the 'want', the 'need' and the 'feel'

coldplay's fix you - when you get what you want and but not what you need.

the difference between both??? how to differentiate??? and how to feel that it is right or wrong??? the thing that we want..and what we need..
arghhh...confuse...

let's talk about feel..
maria always said, kita kena amik feel dulu before buat something..she's totally right..dengan feel itu, apa yg kita lakukan akan terasa lebih nikmat dan bersungguh..
my friend, maria, she's like the psycho that can read people's intention. the words that she always use.."aku ada feel yg...." and i'm like.."what feel? ko tgk kat mana?".."ada la. ko budak kecik. mana ko tau.."

what feel? seriously..where to look? the eye? the air muka? the body language? apa yg tersirat n tersurat? that's my weakest point..i need something direct and straight forward to understand
another close friend of mine said..since i have this ability to show 'muka stone aka emotionless face' until people think that i'm cold-hearted (that's what they call me back then..dingin, beku, xde perasaan), thats the reason why i cant read other people's emotion..
ye ke??????
pro muka stone: org xtau apa kita rasa...cons: kita xtau apa org rasa...

fair enough...
whatever lah...