chapter 3 - dia selalu ada...

malaysia: 5th nov 3.44am
norwich: 4th nov 7.44pm (it's still my birthday)

juz finish my report for the 1st week...n roza is already asleep. and i? i'm chasing cars in my head.

dia selalu ada..walaupun dia jauh, walaupun dia sedih, walaupun dia tau dia xdpt apa2, walaupun dia xperlu ada, walaupun dia asik kecewa...tp dia masih ada...

he knows me, understands me, even if i don admit, even if i act strong..sometimes, he knows me better than i know myself..even when he can't be near, even all he can do is say "insyaAllah everything will be ok"...but still...he's there...

with him, i can't lie, i can't act..becoz...he knows...he reminds me of mak...he cares...he even gave me early bday present, becoz i won't be at where i always be during my bday...n thats makes my heart smile...becoz he remembers..

and i?
i need to figure out...what i want...n what i need...this is the time..i'm out my comfort zone...being alone in this strange place, no family, no friends...n i will know, who really cares about me..i know mak will...becoz mak rindu eli..but thats mak..n of course i need mak..i already knew that 24 years ago...

tp yg pasti...dia selalu ada...n i'm grateful for it...psl dia kata "everything will be ok"..